ALL SUMMERS NO BUMMERS

ALL SUMMERS NO BUMMERS mixtape 2010
listen at goldleaf.bandcamp.com!

what darkness

i wish you would just walk up and say what you want to say
like the first time

i do not like it when you look at me that way,
apologetic and afraid
conflicted and clutching, wanting for something
lord only knows what you want

so why is it you approach with your tail tucked
what is it you've done wrong?
and why's that song you sing so blue
and where is your freedom?
and what darkness do you speak of, babe?
i only see the sun

amalia rodrigues

advice from my great grandmother that my vovo passed on: "every pot has a lid. sometimes the lids get misplaced, but the right lid always turns up eventually."

amalia rodrigues' beautiful fado

De manhã, que medo que me achasses feia,
acordei tremendo deitada na areia.
Mas logo os teus olhos disseram que não!
E o sol penetrou no meu coração.

Vi depois numa rocha uma cruz
e o teu barco negro dançava na luz...
Vi teu braço acenando entre as velas já soltas...
Dizem as velhas da praia que não voltas.

São loucas... são loucas!

Eu sei, meu amor, que nem chegaste a partir,
pois tudo em meu redor me diz que estás sempre comigo.

No vento que lança areia nos vidros,
na água que canta no fogo mortiço,
no calor do leito dos bancos vazios,
dentro do meu peito estás sempre comigo.

Eu sei, meu amor, que nem chegaste a partir

-

in the morning, how i feared you would find me ugly

but your eyes told me the opposite and the sun reached my heart

then i saw a cross upon a rock

and your black boat dancing in the light

and your hand waving among the loosened sails

they say you'll never return to this old beach

they're crazy...they're crazy!

i know, my love, you never left

because everything around me tells me you're always with me

in the wind that throws sand on the windows,

water that sings in the dying fire,

in the warmth of empty seats,

within my heart, you're always with me

.From: http://lyricstranslate.com

toothbrush

i longed for nothing more than to brush my teeth
but somewhere in the confusion i lost my toothbrush
this evening, i saw your best smile and your truest blues blush
you might fear a stillness but i'm still in no rush
i'll just mind my own damn business

Walk Backwards

summer fell into a pool
and august turned the palest blue
piece together what you saw before
and maybe you'll remember
walk backwards
walk backwards
keeping our heads above the water
the water

two weeks before i tossed
and turned my nightmares over
how realistically they all unfold
i just pull the cover over
talk backwards
talk backwards
keeping our heads above the water
the water

up, not down

i could have sworn this staircase
once went up, not down
but perhaps i was simply on a lower floor?
this door looks funky too
familiar, but subtly different
the stillness remains, the wait

that much has not changed
even if everything feels shifted
not much has changed, really
not on the atomic level
no real global impact

but imagine my surprise
to be a burden when so easy
and earnest i have tread, pacing
stoking coals and singing to owls
love songs, love songs, love songs
through the nights long

but you have swam in more exciting rapids
and now dismiss the drift of my slow bend
you've no desire to float
no matter how cool and clear the water
you have been down my river,
and you shall swim up another

still i'll stay an easy rider
and mimic the buddha in repose

"easy"

All the livelong day,
if I have my way, I will love you.
But One can't carry the weight,
or change the fate, of Two.
I've been waiting for a break.
How long's it gonna take?
Let me love you.
How about it?
How about what I have to say?
How about that livelong day?
How am I gonna stay here
without you?

Easy, easy.
You must not fear.
You must meet me, to see me.
I am barely here.
But, like a Bloody Mary,
seen in the mirror:
speak my name
and I appear.

j. newsom

it burned me

abandoned the nest
i kept so warm so long
it burned me
i kept tidy
til it felt empty
i feel empty

handkerchief blue

i remember standing on the dock
waiting for your ship to appear
waving my handkerchief blue in the air
and though my patience proved worthy,
as i'd previously worried,
you returned from your odyssey blurry

and though my patience proved worthy,
i'd kept myself steady,
you checked yourself out in a hurry

black out beach

i'm at black out beach
blotting out the sun with
my own personal clouds
a real physical feeling
of bare toes in sand
mind clouding over
too distant a memory, birth or rebirth
when the planets align
and it gets dark at black out beach
and my clouds grow heavier
my palms are sweating
and i know you don't want to read them like that
but all you need to know is
in my eyes and at black out beach
and in the clouds
gently pulling down the sun
perhaps to a level you can
understand more clearly
something close to a reflection, or maybe a repetition
or a real physical feeling of
bare toes in sand
at black out beach






---------------


mostly scared
but sometimes mad, so, so angry
internally, myopically mostly
never standing on one stone
not reading--
but listening all the time
starting, getting to the middle
and hoping/searching
for the end of that tunnel
coasting in the fog, smoking
so thick it's almost unbearable

your compass seems to point north
but the landscape is constantly shifting
no matter how true the needle
the veins are still blue
on the map they're rivers
and we shall find our river soon
and learn to swim at each other's pace
all ice right now
this summer is strange and straining too
but you'll come home soon, you'll come home

band camp

http://goldleaf.bandcamp.com

found my way to the water

lord knows how i found my way
down to the waterhole, but i went
soaked my head in the water
i spent all morning bent
on my knees in prayer for you

i found my way to the water
now i don't know what to do
walk down this old path i've traveled
til i get back to you
oh this lonesome road! i know too well
i'll go on

new ep by lead leaf

it's called "the blanket ep." it's mostly based on charlie brown. recorded live in the psychedelic basement, berkeley, ca. drums, guitar, feedback, spirit-channeling, magic chord organ drones.

Download

1. no mail in the mailbox, charlie brown
2. the dark summer
3. interlude (on ice)
4. she pulled the football away

your effects

i was sensitive
to your effects
you held me pinned down
how could i leave
with you standing there
looking at me?
i could not flee

i was sensitive
to an extent
i had to turn down
how could i be
so readily and easily
deceived?

fashion show

awesome "lady cow" belt buckle, gift from the girl @ bakingmaddecisions.blogspot.com

sick blouse with "underarm flowers"

make pale

blame it on the naturalists
on all those lists you made
or all the fists you held too tight too long
it is stronger than you think
the ocean pulls you home

it's all getting to you
with no beach to go to
you harvest the shells and listen to the ocean

fortuitous,
the friends that feel for you
distract you from the pains
that make pale your shell
once glowing like the ocean

may photos

rest in peace, miles

dry land

another new demo, last sneak preview i'll be giving, so hold tight

DRY LAND (mp3)

dust in the corner of my room
turns into a storm while i'm asleep
i reach for a hand in my dream
but i am not offered any relief

walking on dry land seems so strange to me since then
i'd just been floating on a cloud
haven't talked to you since then
i'm in endless suspension
and when i hear your stories i write them down


a hole in the sky where i once saw a face
looking down, right back into my eyes
and here in the road while carousing
and careening i find a thing both dead and gleaming

eyes shining black and fur matted down
there's dirt in the corner of its grin
and the blood's drying now
the same color as the ground
and the flies are coming in

saw it coming

here's a demo of a new track from my current recording session.

SAW IT COMING (mp3)

yes yes you say you know the rest

well can you guess what my next move's going to be?
capricious in a way that makes me nervous
i could hold you in my hands
but you would squirm and get away
and i saw it coming

gone are the good days
of endless summer, running fun under the sun
'til the glow would fade away
i just want to stay here in your arms
where i am safe from harm
and you can hear me say

hold on
i've thought long and hard
and i'm not ready to go now
all my power's been drained
oh, i am so tired now
let's not fight fire with fire

heal me in your way
just the touch of your cool palm to my forehead
will make the fevers melt away
and i'll reciprocate, keep you warm
give you shelter from the storm
i'll be a sun on cloudy days

hold, hold on
i've thought long and hard
and i'm not ready to go now
all my power's been drained
oh, i am so tired now
let's not fight fire with fire

"thou shalt not covet thy neighbour"

a hole in a wall is a window
i'm looking into my neighbour's kitchen
they're washing dishes,
they're cleaning up,
they're putting plates back up on the shelves

a hole in the floor is suspicious
but i spy one in my neighbour's kitchen
under the carpet,
it's hiding away!
something...i don't know what

but i cannot investigate
for you can look
but you cannot touch
what is not yours and such and such
consult the good book
it doth say,
"thou shalt not covet thy neighbour"

too fast or too slow

if a heart beats too fast or too slow
they get worried, you know
so i ain't trying to excite you, no no
i just want to dance a little
is that so much to ask
of you
baby
won't you
dance?

help me in my time of need
i am calling out to you
not by name, but you know who
darling dear, i've held you close,
i know you're true
i've made the most of you
wouldn't you say?
baby
won't you
feel me
now? ow wow owowowowow~!!!

A PLAYGUE ON BOTH YOUR HOUSES

when you are tired
of your friends ,
and their drugs,
and the bends
then get out of your hometown,
run away!

"a playgue on both your houses!
you are doomed to misfortune
and your family following you,

too."

dusty old stairs
& pillowcases
resting our heads among
spider-webs

mistletoe hangs
from all of the branches
but no body's kissing
no body's bold

new songette

gold leaf - "hard to keep a light heart" (mp3)

Lead Leaf!

high time i mention my other project, improv jam duo lead leaf. paul bowman plays the drums and i play guitar. we record live in a psychedelic basement, deep under the ground. we've released three recordings to date. from last.fm:

"Lead Leaf is the musical collaboration of drummer/literary critic Paul Bowman and singer/songwriter Brian Azevedo (who usually plays under the moniker Gold Leaf). The two friends are natives of Buellton, CA, where they lived next door to each other for some 7 or 8 years. After playing and recording in Paul’s brother’s bedroom for two years, the band relocated to a smelly, psychadelic basement in Berkeley, CA. The name Leaf Leaf is a combination of Brian Azevedo’s Gold Leaf moniker and Paul Bowman’s initials (PB), which correspond to the element Lead on the periodic table, hence Lead Leaf."

our first record, Nothing Special, was recorded live in buellton, california, at andrew's room. a limited pressing of 4 burned cds with special sharpie handwriting was released in spring 2009. it can be downloaded for free here

Haunted Country was digitally released in winter 2009, after two sessions occuring in buellton and in berkeley. due for a re-release on cd this summer, 'til then download it here

released online in march 2010, A Playgue on Both Your Houses will also be getting a cd package treatment this summer. get it for free right here

in pursuit of the true spirit of rock n roll, noisy, dark, ambient, live guitar and drums and some singing and shouting, grooves, riffs, freak outs, dialogues, space jams, sing alongs, ghosts, cowboys, curses, spiders in every corner. try it but don't tell your parents

out in the west texas town of el paso

click for a full view of the scroll of el paso

time for sleep

grouper - "quiet eyes"

an honest horn

carry me away
i am not bound to stay
on the ground very long.
sometimes i feel so strong,
but i hold my tongue;

now i want to say my peace--

i've long been aligned
with the wind's hollow blow,
and now i shall blow my horn
to match it's cold bellow
and every word i never said
shall resound in the notes
that come from my heart
from my gut, from my soul

jesus loves you the best

the incredible string band - "a very cellular song"
from the album the hangman's beautiful daughter

"Winter was cold and the clothing was thin
But the gentle shepherd calls the tune
Oh dear mother, what shall I do?
First please your eyes and then your ears, Jenny
Exchanging love tokens say goodnight

Lay down, my dear sister
Won't you lay and take your rest?
Won't you lay your head upon your saviour's breast?
And I love you, but Jesus loves you the best
And I bid you goodnight, goodnight, goodnight,
And I bid you goodnight, goodnight, goodnight.
One of these mornings bright and early and fine,
Goodnight, goodnight
Not a cricket not a spirit going to shout me on,
Goodnight, goodnight
I go walking in the valley of the shadow of death
Goodnight, goodnight
And his rod and his staff shall comfort me
Goodnight, goodnight
Oh John, the wine! he saw the sign
Goodnight, goodnight
Oh John, say I seen a number of signs
Goodnight, goodnight
Tell A for the ark that wonderful boat
Goodnight, goodnight
You know they built it on the land getting water to float
Goodnight, goodnight
Tell B for the beast at the ending of the wood
Goodnight, goodnight
You know it ate all the children when they wouldn't be good
Goodnight, goodnight
I remember quite well, I remember quite well
Goodnight, goodnight
I was walking in Jerusalem just like John
Goodnight, goodnight, goodnight.

Who would lose and who would bruise
Or who would live quite prettily?
And who would love what comes along
And fill the air with joyous song

Who would go and who would come
Or who would simply linger?
And who would hide behind your chair
And steal your crystallised ginger

Nebulous nearnesses cry to me
At this timeless moment
Someone dear to me wants me near, makes me high
I can hear vibrations fly
Through mangoes, pomegranates and planes
All the same
When it reaches me and teaches me
To sigh

Who would mouse and who would lion
Or who would be the tamer?
And who would hear directions clear
From the unnameable namer

Who would skip and who would plod
Or who would lie quite stilly?
And who would ride backwards on a giraffe
Stopping every so often to laugh

Amoebas are very small!

Oh ah ee oo! there's absolutely no strife
living the timeless life
I don't need a wife
living the timeless life
If I need a friend I just give a wriggle
Split right down the middle
And when I look there's two of me
Both as handsome as can be
Oh here we go slithering, here we go slithering and squelching on
Oh here we go slithering, here we go slithering and squelching on
Oh ah ee oo there's absolutely no strife
living the timeless life

Black hair, brown hair, feather and scale
Seed and stamen and all unnamed lives that live
Turn your quivering nerves in my direction
Turn your quivering nerves in my direction
Feel the energy projection of my cells
Wishes you well.

May the long time sun shine upon you
All love surround you
And the pure light within you
Guide you all the way on."

pretty-boy

i said, "describe your dream prince,
i'll draw every detail."
i told pretty-boy he's got the
best prince comin' to him in the world
he believed me for a while
then he went and asked the girls

the girls told him, "pretty-boy
be realistic--no one can live up
to your idea of perfection!"

i said, "hey man, it's all conjecture
and besides this is hypothetical, right?"
and pretty-boy just mumbled,
"well, i'll be lonely tonight."

if i see you so troubled
like i see you today
when i see you so troubled,
what should i say?

i say, "pretty-boy, quit lookin
at yourself in the mirror."
the room's so warm
it feels like i caught a fever
i believed it for a while
and i slept and kept on sleepin

my dreams tell me,
"pretty-boy's no child, he's a grown man
even if he's got a lot of learn."

the girls said, "he's still got his dukes up,
he's still got his fight!"
but pretty-boy just mumbles,
"i'll still be lonely tonight."

WANTED

THIS DANGEROUS DANCING MAN IS STILL ON THE LOOSE, MEDIUM-TANNED SKIN, DARK HAIR, DARK EYES, 140 POUNDS BUT OF SLENDER BUILD, OFTEN WEARS DARK SUNGLASSES AND RED BANDANA ON HEAD, WEARS CLINGING, TIGHT SHIRTS AND A DARK GREEN FROCK, SOMETIMES RED TROUSERS, COWBOY BOOTS OR EVEN SLIPPERS, CONCEALING DEADLY KNIVES MOST LIKELY OF SOUTH AMERICAN ORIGIN, USUSALLY A DRINK IN HAND, DOESN'T TALK MUCH AND SOMETIMES SPORTS A PATCHY BEARD, HAS TWO LEFT FEET YET DESPITE THIS HE IS A PROFESSIONAL BALLROOM DANCER, SO DANCERS ESPECIALLY STAY ALERT
ANY INFORMATION REPORT TO LOCAL SHERIFF
REWARD $$$10,000 D.O.A.

it's a formula we figured
out a hundred years ago
when all the scientists gathered
and stoked and turned the coals

it's a game we keep on playing
with ourselves and all our friends
where we only see the shadows
forget the means, it's only ends

it always ends in bitter struggle
when you try to raise a voice
and a voice is all you have these days
keep your words sacred and choice

if i had to make a choice
between melting in the sun, or being
crucified under the moon
in front of everyone

well, i'd rather burn my bridges
well, i'd rather cut and run
well, i'd rather burn my bridges
yeah, i'd rather cut and run

you'll see the pattern better
if you open both your eyes
one after the other
then again at the same time

it's a formula we figured
out a hundred years ago
when all the scientists gathered
and stoked and turned the coals

photobooth time travel

time travel is easier on airplanes


watch the earth rise!
drink milk from the mountain's teet!

swim with the fishes!

trespass the heavens!

tornado

i feel just a picket fence in your harsh, harsh winds
you're a tornado, baby, i'll admit
but more attuned to water than dust
is it the eye of the hurricane
you see through when you you squint?

--response to sharon van etten's "tornado," video of her playing with megafaun.




breaking my heeeart i've never heard this song before:

just for fun

constellation light box

some photos from october 09

building a rube goldberg machine

a ball rolls into some blocks of wood and turna on the super mario theme song and then the dominoes fall into the popsicle stick bridge which collapes the little whirly deal and moves the wagon which bumps the table and gets the soft ball to roll down the tube and release the feathers! the switch turns on, and the fan blows the windchimes and spins the string that pulls the lever to release the weight, and as the pully turns the fishbowl full of marbles falls and CRASHes to the ground. wonderful fun

here's an actual rube goldberg piece, don't mind the commercialism

wire whales!

empty boat + quills

new lithos