black out beach

i'm at black out beach
blotting out the sun with
my own personal clouds
a real physical feeling
of bare toes in sand
mind clouding over
too distant a memory, birth or rebirth
when the planets align
and it gets dark at black out beach
and my clouds grow heavier
my palms are sweating
and i know you don't want to read them like that
but all you need to know is
in my eyes and at black out beach
and in the clouds
gently pulling down the sun
perhaps to a level you can
understand more clearly
something close to a reflection, or maybe a repetition
or a real physical feeling of
bare toes in sand
at black out beach






---------------


mostly scared
but sometimes mad, so, so angry
internally, myopically mostly
never standing on one stone
not reading--
but listening all the time
starting, getting to the middle
and hoping/searching
for the end of that tunnel
coasting in the fog, smoking
so thick it's almost unbearable

your compass seems to point north
but the landscape is constantly shifting
no matter how true the needle
the veins are still blue
on the map they're rivers
and we shall find our river soon
and learn to swim at each other's pace
all ice right now
this summer is strange and straining too
but you'll come home soon, you'll come home